Sayuri Ayers

INTRODUCTION

Imagine a woman in the laboratory, her black hair clipped short, her body encased in the white coat of a scientist. She is twenty-three years old. She bends over the cool black slab of the lab bench, a pipette poised in her hand. She peers at the polyacrylamide gel in front of her and dips the tip of the pipette into one of the wells molded into the gel.

The woman holds her breath, steadying her hand as the pipette releases a spool of solution wavering with DNA. With this DNA, the woman hopes to create a new type of protein. She fills four wells this way, then flicks the switch on the Plexiglas box holding the gel. As electricity surges through the gel, the DNA migrates downward. This is how the woman purifies the DNA. This is how she purifies herself.

The woman gazes out into the 2 am streets. It’s late October and the dark pavement gleams, snaking around the other research buildings that rise tall and pale in the moonlight. In her own tower, the centrifuge rumbles, spinning down additional vials of DNA.

The woman presses her hand against the double paned glass, peering into the night sky. She wonders if this is the beginning of her new life—the late nights spent in a silent laboratory, the stars glinting in formless darkness.

Two years before, the woman had sent applications to the top graduate school programs for molecular biology. Her fingers struck the keys on her computer as she wrote: “The priceless knowledge and experience that I will obtain in graduate school will allow me to become a better research scientist. After earning my Ph.D., I wish to pursue a career that will demand my total dedication to the investigative process”.

Dedication, dedication, dedication. The woman now mouths these words, her breath misting the cool pane of glass separating her from the night sky, the winding concrete paths of the university’s campus.

A void gapes within the woman, drawing her into itself. She wonders if graduate school was the right choice, if studying protein structure was really what she wanted.

She speaks to her reflection: What are you doing? Are you happy? She traces her reflection’s frigid cheek, then looks away.

MATERIALS AND METHODS

Sample Preparation

A woman composed of a 1:1 ratio of Chinese and Japanese descent was placed in an environment comprised of equal parts isolation and sleep deprivation. Prime experimental in-situ conditions were determined using the following formula:

DS₂ = DS₁ + t_i T_c                                            (1)

where DS2 represents the optimal depressive state of the woman, calculated from the initial depressive state (DS₁) before entering the graduate program and its relationship to time in isolation (t_i) and compounding memories of childhood trauma (T_c ).

T_c was determined using the calculation
T_c = (b_x p_y)^m (2)

Where the number of boys (b_x) that applied
force contact on the woman when she was a child is multiplied by the number of times she binged and purged (p_y). The direct relationship between b_x and p_y was increased exponentially by the number of times the maternal parent, (m), would urge the girl to lose weight through self-control.

Achieving Sample’s Ideal Conformation

After eight months in the molecular biology program, depressive state (DS₂) was achieved. The woman lay on her twin-sized mattress in her tiny one-bedroom apartment, her body curled in the ideal conformation (Figure 1).

Figure 1: Conformation of woman before entering the graduate school program (A) and after entering the graduate program (B). (B) represents the ideal depressive state (DS₂).

Ideal conformation was confirmed through
light-scattering analysis from the stars
glinting through the bedroom window.

Denaturing the Sample

Once the more malleable conformation (B)
was achieved, further denaturing thoughts
were added to the woman’s environment in

nightly increments. Thoughts are listed in
Table 1 and were adjusted to disrupt the
structure of the woman, unraveling her to
expose the desired components of guilt and
shame.

Table 1: Thoughts were inserted into the
woman’s mind in nightly increments. The
denaturing power (DP) was determined by how much each thought increased her depressive state (DS2). The DP scale ranged from 1-10.
Their addition into an already depression-conducive environment resulted in optimal
responses (insomnia, eating week-old food from takeout containers, ignoring calls and emails from loved ones).

Sample Purification

Once the woman had been completely
denatured, the following apparatus as shown Figure 2 was constructed to extract guilt and shame for consumption.

As described in the Discussion section, this
final step wasn’t accomplished due to
unpredicted complications.

Figure 2: The woman was to be added into an in-situ environment packed with men who would a) use her body b) take her money c) dispose of her. Through the process, the woman would have been degraded and trapped, allowing for the purified shame and guilt to be collected.
The migration time of the sample from point A to point B was estimated to be thirty-two years.

DISCUSSION

Sample denaturation

Through careful lengthening of the woman’s time in isolation, t_i (see Formula 1), the ideal conformation, B (see Figure 1), was achieved. After eight months in seclusion, the woman was observed going to a counselor’s office in the early morning of January 2004. The following conversation segment was recorded:

Counselor: Are you happy?

Woman: No.

[Counselor leans forward in her chair to
study woman’s conformational state (arms
tucked closely to chest, back bent in 45-
degree angle, head bowed)]

Counselor: You’re not doing what you love.
I don’t think your heart is singing.

As time progressed, an exponential
relationship between time with the counselor (t_c) and the woman’s depressive state (DS₂) was observed as noted in Figure 3:

Figure 3: The exponential increase in DS2 was expected to reach a threshold of 5,000 units when the woman realized the depths of her vocational failure. After this, the conformational change of the woman would lead to irreversible structural instability.

Achievement of further sample instability

On the night of February 5, 2004, the
woman self-administered 23.5 doses of
medication while sitting on the floor of her
apartment littered with a) crumpled lab
reports b) moldy takeout containers c)
unwashed clothes.

At this point of the experiment, the
apparatus described in Figure 2 primed for
extraction.

Experimental Interruption

Unfortunately, the woman was retrieved by
human emergency services. Under the
flashing lights of the ambulance, she gazed
into the stars above her. She channeled into
the night sky: Oh, God. Please help me. I’ve
made a huge mistake.

The woman was placed in a mental ward.
The progression of her depressive state
began to decrease. At this point, concerns
grew that the woman would not unravel
completely.

Unexpected Sample Conformational
Change

Under the care of her maternal parent, the
woman began to recover. Attempts were
made to insert the following denaturing
thoughts into the woman’s mind as noted in Table 2:

Table 2: Unfortunately, the denaturing power (DP) of the thoughts wasn’t a strong as expected. Despite repeated administration, a DP of greater than 5 wasn’t achieved.

It is hypothesized that the effects of the
denaturing thoughts were counteracted by the maternal parent. The following fragments of conversation were collected:

Woman: I’m never going to get better.

Maternal Parent: This will pass. I love you.

*

Woman: I’m worthless.

Maternal Parent: You are so precious. I love you.

*

Woman: I’m such a disappointment.

Maternal Parent: I love you, I love you, l love
you.

*

The failure of the thoughts to impact the
woman led to further analysis of the
maternal parent. A sample of her essence
was obtained and found to have the
following properties:

Figure 4: The majority of the maternal parent’s essence was comprised of the irreducible element, faith.

When observed further, the maternal parent was found bending over an ancient text, her mouth moving silently. A light of over 42.3 billion candelas emanated from her, the

room filling with the power of a limitless
sun.

Over the period of eight years, the woman
recovered, the desired conformation, B, transforming into the undesirable conformation, A’, as pictured in Figure 5.

Figure 5: The woman is now comprised of three strong and resilient structures, the original structure (in black) is now supported by two additional structures: S* (in red) and S₂ (in blue)

Despite even more stringent of imposed
environments and situations (post-partum
depression, subsequent mental ward
hospitalizations, and electroconvulsive
therapy), the woman’s conformation
remained stable.
When analyzed further, the two
accompanying strands in the women’s
structure are composed of material of
incredible tensile strength and durability.
One strand, (S₂), is composed of the
maternal parent’s essence, with a faith
component of 40%. Curiously, this
element’s strength is directly related to the
level of imposed environmental conditions,
thus increasing as environmental factors’
intensities increased.
The third strand (S) is labeled with red in Figure 5. This strand of the women’s is of undetermined composition. When exposed to darkness, S emits light with a great,
immeasurable intensity. S^* is a contagion,

that when integrated into the host structure creates an immutable bond.

CONCLUSION

Further experimental must be performed to recreate depressive state (DP₂) within the woman. Current attempts to extract the women’s structure from S* have been unsuccessful. However, efforts will continue until project funding has been exhausted.