Collapsing Ghosts
…nothing but a jump from one interaction to another…we can now observe black holes
formed by collapsed stars. Crushed by its own weight, the matter of these stars has
collapsed upon itself and disappears from our view. —Carlo Rovelli
The years’ crowded train hurtled on like a spine pulled from the flesh of a fish.
Like a Doppler field implosion
as hate words entered my skin layers at the neutral syllable speed of a black hole
god who is unseen.
Fit to be tied behind the back of feeling, a hatchet to the lock and heat of what
we emit, I began to feel
nothing, underwater, crushed by our marriage vacuum. So, exploring all limits,
the 66 seabed meters, near
oxygen toxicity from body to bed, I gave myself what I wanted him to give me.
Isn’t that the jump from one
nitrogen interaction to another, the matter of collapsing into ourselves and seen
from a shining distance?
Those who are afraid fight hardest and make a pact with ruin claims on time.
The way gravity doesn’t
exist in space––it is space before I can speak my peace entreaty to be simply
loved and loved again, like
an erotic tide’s heave returning to its demise, only to be repeated, but different
as ghost face of a star
splintered inside the wave’s white beard up there, airborne and yet without air.
Let me be clear.
I can’t think as far as the disappearing hour after faith in the unknown died.
Know too, when
electrons no longer got in the way, I was free to travel alone, praying to myself
inside the dark applause made with
one hand waving from the ledge of light’s lasting tour waveform across this
universe clatter and cluster of Bang Bang––Kiss Kiss.
Former Regional Director of the Poetry Society of America, final judge for the PEN’s “Best of the West” award, the Kate & Kingsley Tufts Poetry Awards, and the Laurel Prize for environmental writing, Elena Karina Byrne works as a freelance editor, screenwriter, lecturer, interdisciplinary events curator, and as Programming Consultant / Poetry Stage Manager for The Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Pushcart Prize recipient and Best American Poetry contributor, her five poetry collections include If This Makes You Nervous (Omnidawn, 2021). Forthcoming works include two new poetry books and her essay collection, Voyeur Hour: Poetry Art, Film, & Desire.